I Just Wanna Sit By You

I’ve come to the conclusion this week that it’s impossible to read in public. Even though it’s a perfectly acceptable pastime, you can’t read with other people around. It’s impossible! It’s like people see what you are doing and know you can’t physically talk to them AND read at the same time but because you are out in public they disregard it and ramble on to you anyway!
The problem is that I like to read. I like to read a lot, but I also like being out amongst people. So where does that leave me? If I wanted to read uninterrupted as much as my heart desired I’d have to hide out like Osama. Now that man gets quality reading time, guaranteed! But I like being out where people are. I’m not the antisocial type. I like participating in conversation and activities. But there are sometimes I wish I could just be apart of things while doing my OWN thing. …like read! I just wanna sit by you, don't talk to me! Socially, this seems to be unacceptable.

Case in point, last night:
I walk into the restaurant and am happy to find that the 5 o’clock traffic wasn’t as bad as I predicted and I arrived with about 15 minutes to spare. I happen to bring a book for such an occasion. One I’ve already read so that I can be in no danger of getting angry at the fact that I won’t be able to REALLY get into it with such a small amount of additional time. I pull up an extra chair in the back and snuggle down for a few minutes.

…bad idea.

Not the reading to stay occupied idea….the sitting in public and reading idea. Because even tho this is the only place in the restaurant for a waitress to actually HAVE a place to sit, it is also a side room that people are constantly coming in and out of. Cheifs, dishwashers, bussers, servers, managers. It seems everyone has to come back into this room for one reason or another. ….and what do they do each time they come in despite my book in hand? They open up their mouthes and talk.

Person number one. Maryann, a fellow server:

“…..hey amie, whacha readn?”

I look up politely, even tho what I WANT to do it not answer and just keep reading.

“Hey, oh just a book from the twilight series.”

“huh, whats it about?”

I go into a full yet brief explanation of the storyline. She seems relatively disinterested but is happy to have someone’s eye contact for a moment because a manager just got on her case about proper uniform and she obviously wanted to get her frustration off her chest. She rants to me for a minute and leaves.

I look back down and my eyes scan the words to see where I left off. 2 paragraphs later in walks my manager.

“Hey amie. Whacha readn?”

“Just a book I picked up.”

“oh.”

I wait for a minute to see if he’ll ask any more questions but he seems to be on a mission for something. Phew! Back to my book.

“Whats it about? Hey you can clock on early if you are bored.”

Obviously, I spoke too soon.

“Actually think I’m just gonna read for a little while. But thank you.”

“ok”

He leaves and I’m glad at least that he didn’t peruse his first question any further. I resituate and get settle back into my book again, happy to be having this precious spare time to read. 10 seconds later…Chief Jake walks in.

“Hey Amie, whacha readn?”

Mental sigh. “a book”

without looking up. Does everyone really need me to state the obvious here?

“oh yea? Whats it about?”

“Vampires.”

“Really? I never pegged you for a vampire girl. I pictured you more as a ….well, I don’t really know, but not vampires.”

I laugh but don’t answer and burry myself back in the pages. He goes on and on about what kind of book guy HE is and I look up kindly, but internally annoyed, adding the occasional “oh”s and “wow that’s interesting” when needed to be civil. I don’t interject too much in the hopes that he won’t stay long if he's gonna need my undivided attention. He doesn’t.

I’m not much more than a page past where I originally started when I hear footsteps approaching behind me again. I’m about to give up, close the book and take my manager up on his offer to clock in early. Ahhhh, but it’s just Benjamin. Benjamin is our extremely quiet dishwasher. Quiet as in deaf mute kinda quiet. He never says more than a head nod. Not to us servers anyway. I’m interrupted by his entrance for a moment but am relieved to find it’s finally someone who won’t ask for small talk. But to my complete astonishment he says “hello Amie” and asks me how my thanksgiving was. I put my book down to see if I've confused him for someone else as he continues to rattle off conversation in my direction.

Of course! Of course now of ALL times our silent dishwasher would pick NOW to come out of his shell and talk my ear off! I can see that it's almost painful for him to speak out loud but he does it anyway! I should have been irritated but I was just too bewildered to see that he was actually talking! He winds down after about 10 minutes and moves out of the room to go clock on for his shift.

I try to get back into my book but I can’t. The damage has already been done and the wheels have started to turn in my head. I’m feeling more than frustration at this point, I’m feeling…. confused. I flip my book over just to make sure there isn’t some sign on the cover that says “TALK TO ME WHILE I READ” feeling that there must be something there to make even our antisocial Benjamin all the sudden feel like he needed to speak to me while I try and read this book! …Nope, no such sign.

So why do people do this!?? I don’t understand! It’s like children who leave you alone for a solid hour but the second the telephone rings they are right up in your face with world problems that demand your sudden attention like “mommy I’m hungry!”

Am I the only person on the planet who hasn’t mastered the skill of carrying on a conversation and reading at the same time? Doesn’t it bother anybody else? It’s hard to believe that something so encouraged and vital to the intelligence of our society could be so….interrupted! It’s maddening!

The Review

The time has finally come. I took the night off work. I purchased my tickets in advance and made arrangements with all my girlfriends.

We bunched together in the first middle rows in excited chatter.

We saw.

And when the lights came back on, I was...satisfied. I wasn't in LOVE with the movie (as I knew I wouldn't be. I mean, what can really compare to the imagination to start with right?) but I liked it. I had my qualms of course. The scenes were too different from the book. The filming was too "low budget." Alice was too tall. Edward wasn't glittery enough in the sunlight and there's just no way that he would have been able to kiss her like that. ....not that I'm complaining. But all in all I enjoyed seeing these actors do their best to portray what Stephanie spelled out so meticulously in an overabundance of pages. It was a hard movie to embark on from the beginning just for that reason alone.

I'm hoping that the second and third films will reap the benefits of it's predecessor and have a big enough budget to improve on the special effects. I thoroughly enjoyed the casting though. Bella especially I thought was perfect for the part. As for Edward...*sigh. I think the authoress Shannon Hale summed it up best in her dedication to Collin Ferth:

"You're a really great guy, but I'm married, so lets just be friends."

Done!

Last night I finally finished the last book of the Twilight series. Well, I shouldn't say FINALLY because it's not like it took me long to read it. 2600 pages in about 2 weeks. Thats the fastest I've ever read anything! But now that the final page has turned and the last word is read, even tho I'm thrilled with how everything turned out, I'm so sad that it's over!

I feel weird waking up this morning with no book to take with me to the gym. No book to read at nap time. No book to read at night after work while everyone is asleep! I've never felt empty like this after reading a book series. Like I just lost a good friend. I think it's mostly because it was such a long series that took up so much of my extra time. Everyday seems longer now that I have nothing to look forward to during those quiet hours to myself. ...Time for a new book! Any recommendations? What are your favorite books? I'm gonna need a good rebound book after something like Twilight!

The Twilight Series

So I'm about 100 pages or so into the second book of the Twilight series, a series of books I'm enjoying more than I care to admit. If you haven't read these book yet, I'm giving you fair warning to stop reading right now because I'm sure I'll say too much.

Let me just preface this little rant by explaining tho that when I read books I REALLY get into them. Reading to me is like why people go to bars to get drunk. For me it provides an exceptional escape from reality, without the damaging effects to my liver. I can surface from Count of Monte Cristo, for example, and feel like I just spent the last few hours roaming the streets of France, Italy or the Isles of the Mediterranean. But much the same as an alcoholic, it can become unhealthy. My house going to a mess, my hair undone, my family getting frustrated which is why I have to keep it under control with my "reading times." Matt and the boys have to go to bed at an ungodly early hour to get their beauty sleep so that means if I'm not at work, which is seldom, I have a couple hours of pure uninterrupted vacation time! But when I say I "get into my books" it's more than just the settings I feel have changed around me, but I also tend to close my books feeling a little how the characters feel too. So, needless to say, at this certain place and time in my New Moon book....I'm PISSED! There I was reading in the late hours of the night when I suddenly slammed the book shut becoming instantly uninterested in reading any further! Let me back up...

So he leaves her right? Bearable, I can take that. I mean, how many more books was I really able to sit through where she lose her breath at his every touch? It was getting a bit repetitive and I knew he'd have to say goodbye at least once to shake things up a bit. I wasn't completely put off, yet. But I WAS curious to see when he would be resurfacing again... so I cheated. Quickly skimming through pages to see if I could spy his name anywhere. I didn't want to read ahead, I just wanted to see that his name eventually would come back again...soon. I flip 50 pages...nope. 100 pages...nada. 200 pages??!...nothing! 400 pages! 400 pages I had to flip until I saw his name somewhere again! That only leaves about 200 pages left for Stephanie to redeem herself! So OF COURSE I slammed the book shut, not wanting to depress myself anymore. Not really because he was gone, but because I knew Bella would be so depressed (and I told you that I normally feel how my characters feel). I didn't want to be depressed! I wanted to be exciting, curious and nervous as she was most of the time in his presence!

I know I'm going to have to pick it back up again sometime tonight but I will be very interested to see how Miss Mayer plans to keep my interest with 400 pages of no Edward. And not even no Edward, but no vampires at all! Umpf! I'm sure I'll get over it, so please don't try to comfort me by giving anything away in your comments. Just tell me I should keep reading.

Kids Say The Darndest Things

So my youngest son Sammy graduated to big boy pants last week and is fully potty trained! WOOO WHOOO! If you're a parent, you'll understand what an amazing feat this is. It's strange not to change diapers anymore. Weird. Like we've moved onto a new chapter in life. Who knows how long it will stay that way but we are enjoying it while it lasts.

The interesting thing about potty training boys though is that once they get there, it's like they've discovered they have a we we for the first time...and they want every one to know about it! So they start doing things like exposing themselves in public and peeing outdoors. Yes, its a lovely new life we are embarking on.

Anyway, so this morning we are getting ready for church and Matt is getting the kids ready. When he goes to get Sam, he finds him sitting on the floor in his room butt naked focusing intently on his pee pee. Then, when he notices Dad is standing by him he looks up and says

"Look at my pee pee dad.... it's awesome!"

I just about died.

Back to the Basics

So after sitting down with Matt to take a look at our finances this month I couldn’t help but feel a little frustrated, as I’m sure everyone is. After months of hearing all this talk about the economy, I finally feel like it’s trickled down far enough to actually effect us on a larger scale and it’s a little scary! Don’t get me wrong, we are still able to make ends meet but it’s not without a little rearranging and adjusting to say the least. We are just starting to make a lot of the changes most families across America are. Eating out less, making repairs instead of buying new, Matt also forbids me to carry my Costco card around. Haha. All this scaling down and cutting back really reminds me of the good ol’ days when I was a kid, growing up poor.
Do you know what I mean when I say poor? I don’t mean no food in the house kinda poor. That’s more in the category of destitute I would say. I mean paycheck-to-paycheck kinda poor. I mean buy most your clothes at the thrift store kinda poor (which I consider more of a hobby rather than a circumstance). Happy cause at least you have each other kinda poor.

Let me put it to you this way. If your first car was more than 10 years old then, you know what I mean. If you don’t feel at home at the dinner table until someone brings out a bag of plain white bread and a tub of butter as a side dish, then you know what I mean. If your reward for raking leaves was never money but permission to jump in them after, then you know what I mean. If you ever got hand peeled carrots in your lunch as a kid instead of a HoHo, then you know what I mean.
But being poor isn’t necessarily bad. I’d even go as far to say that it has its good sides. I mean perfect case in point with the carrots versus HoHos! Most of the bare essential foods in the supermarket these days are healthier than any of the other supped up, over processed, more expensive foods. Besides that, it builds character and imagination! I mean, how many rich kids do you know that have ever played the game “wilderness” or “shipwrecked” in their own backyard? How many rich kids do you know that even play in their backyard? The world is too saturated with technology these days that entice kids to be indoors.

I use the term “poor” quite loosely, as you can see, because there really are families and individuals out there suffering from true poverty. In truth, a lot of the things I had growing up were way less than some…but much more than others.
IF I were venting to my father over dinner about all the cutbacks Matt and I have had to make, this would be the part where he stops eating and starts to slowly shake his fork at me across the dinner table with a pensive look on his face. Then after a minute or two he’d say something like, “…have you ever stopped to think that maybe it’s a blessing in disguise?” and then go right back to eating like he hadn’t just crashed my pity party. Then of course it makes me think….like it always does. It IS a blessing after all. Its a way for us to get back to the basics of life. It makes me want to yell to myself, “don’t you remember? We can do this! YOU know how!”

When I don’t have the money to buy my kids new toys or I have to find cheaper substitutes when shopping for meals, in all honesty, it makes a part of me smile! Smile because it makes me remember how much fun we had making a game out of these challenges. Then, I start to teach my kids like my parents taught me and we find it’s one eternal round. It makes me feel like if I can help my family survive on a smaller budget… I am smart! Which is a statement that ironically makes me feel stupid when I say it out loud cause it’s so simple! Simple yet true.

In my church (which most of my readers belong to) we do this thing called fasting where you go without food for a certain period of time. We do this for many reasons but one is so that our bodies become subject to our spirit. In doing so, we have the chance to reevaluate where we are spiritually and how we can improve. Maybe in abstaining from most luxuries in life, we give ourselves a better opportunity to evaluate the kind of people we’ve become. We give ourselves a fighting chance to reintroduce the child within. That same creative, happy child. Full of energy and life (cause we eat the hand peeled carrots!!!)
So in honor of all this economic turmoil I propose everyone take a moment to share their favorite story about being poor. And I don’t mean sob stories that are gonna make us want to take you in like a starving stray puppy. I mean character shaping stories or stories you can laugh at that wouldn’t have happened had your uncle been Daddy Warbucks. A memory, a lesson learned, an old game, whatever!

In the mean time, feel free to send any donations to the Post Family Fund. A nonprofit organization. We accept birthday money, Christmas money, and buy you’re your kids a HoHo money. Have your credit cards ready and call this toll free number: 1-800- 763-6557. That’s 1-800-POFOLKS.