The weather is getting hotter by the day here and for some unknown reason my box labeled “Amie’s Summer Clothes” has vanished into thin air. It probably fell off the truck somewhere between here and the old house where some bum picked it up. I can just see it now as he holds up my hot pink tankini to his chest “Hey Frank! You think this would look good on me?”
Anyway, wherever it is, it isn’t here. I did however come across my high school/ college bin and ended up spending much longer than I had expected sifting through its contents. Normally I close the lid the second I realize which box it is cause I know I’ll just get sucked in like the Bermuda Triangle. But my kids were in bed and my husband was off tinkering around with his motorcycle at his buddy’s so, I pulled up a 5 gallon bucket of food storage flour and had a nice walk down memory lane.
I was pleased to find as I flipped through old journals that I’d documented all the important things like the moment in time when I suddenly found out that the boy I’d loved since kindergarten was a horrific kisser. I remember it so clearly, home from college one summer, standing in the back of a dark movie theater while the credits rolled. All my little girl fantasies of a country house with a white picket fence and 10 kids were abruptly and vigorously drowned away by an unordinary amount of saliva that seemed to slosh from his mouth. It was definitely a “don’t call me, I’ll….never call you, ever” kind of ending.
My 10 year high school reunion was this last summer. I didn’t go. They’re all just pissing contests anyway and I think I had decided long ago that if I wasn’t being flown to the front doors of the school by private chopper in a sleek business suit and nervous minions fussing frantically about me then I wouldn’t go. Somehow pulling up in a minivan with 2 purses and a diaper bag slung over my shoulder, spit-up down one sleeve, just didn’t compare. Oh but I’d have the minions all right, making ME nervous, running around screaming profanities and uncouth truths.
“Mommy that lady’s FAT!”
“Oh Amie! Your children are… adorable.”
I feel bad about it all for a moment, and then I look back on all these pictures of my now husband and think, who cares what my unruly children are doing, look at my husband!! If high school reunions are about keeping up with the Joneses, then my Mr. Jones totally kicks your Mr. Jones butt!
The weirdest part is feeling like all these memories happened so long ago. So much has happened since then. I’m definitely not the same person that I was. I have different dreams for myself, different perspectives for sure. I read back in my journals of my current 16 year old travesties and wonder why I thought it was “soooo unfair that my mom wouldn’t let me go to that party!” It ALL seems so trivial to me now.
Then I wonder, when I’m 50 and I’m reading back in my journals from today, will I think my worries are all so trivial now too? Will I laugh when I read about $3.75 gas prices and stresses of having small children? Of course I will! Cause gas is gonna be like 6 bucks a gallon by then and my babies will all be having their own babies (maybe)!
It kind of all helps put it into perspective. So I want you to think about whats happening in your life right now. Things that just seem SO hard and take up SO much of your time. What are they? And how do you think you’ll see it 20 years from now? I’d love it if you feel comfortable sharing. I’m curious to hear.