Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Thursday, October 1, 2009
About a year ago I went out to check the mail. In between the bills and the classifieds I found this little postcard from the Mayor of Helena explaining to the citizens that in the near future there would be a roundabout put in on the south side of town. On the postcard was an explanation of what a roundabout was and even a colored diagram of how to use it! I couldn’t believe it! I mean first off, I remember seeing my first roundabout in action when I was like 7 and now at age 26 my fellow citizens are opening up their mailboxes and discovering for the first time just what a roundabout even IS? I can just see the majority now…mouths agape…scratching their heads whilst they study it…maybe even taping it to their dashboard for quick future reference. Hilarious. I wanted to frame it, but I settled for putting it on my fridge. It’s wonderful, like reading the comics every time I reach in for my cereal milk.
I was interested to see how this was going to be accepted considering the fact that if there is something Montanans don’t do well… it’s change. I haven’t heard of any accidents yet but I wouldn’t be surprised to hear of a large reduction in traffic heading into the south side of town.
Anyway, last week they finally finished some retarded construction on the main street close to my house. I say retarded because the past two times they have done major construction on this road (which needs to be widened into a 4 lane road in a bad way) it always ends up looking the exact same way it was before they dug it all up. Just as I was beginning to suspect that 1.) the government must be desperate to put these people to work, tearing things up only to put things right back or 2.) no one knew what the hell they were doing, I suddenly realized that this time something WAS different! They had created a turning lane!
This is actually a very good and smart thing to have done. I was overjoyed because I have to cross eastbound traffic to go westbound towards Jake’s school every morning. Traffic is always terrible in the mornings so I was really ecstatic to put this turning lane to good use. But then again…..
The time came to use it. I pulled up to the road and when I could see that the oncoming traffic was easing up I crossed over and merged easily into the turning lane. Now all I had to do was wait for the opposite traffic to ease a little so I could merge right in! …… obviously not so easy. Apparently this is new for Helenans too because the westbound traffic suddenly SLAMMED on their brakes thinking I was a total crazy for moving out into the middle of the road!!! Not only did the lead lady slam on her brakes but she stopped COMPLETELY almost causing a 5-car pile up. Luckily everyone must have had their coffee that morning cause no one crashed but as I stubbornly stayed in the turning lane every car that passed by me HONKED at me!!! To which I screamed back “IT’S A TURNING LANE PEOPLE!!!” I couldn’t believe it! That Helena would be so far behind in the times that grown people would not even know how to use a turning lane. I thought maybe I just need to keep using it so that people get the general idea of what it’s for. Nope. Just more ignorant honking. Obviously Mayor Smith, we are going to need another colored postcard here. ASAP!