It is no secret in my family that I am notorious for my black thumbs. I can't make WEEDS grow, and that's a fact! Of course they would spring up here and there unassisted, but if I were to try and nourish weeds or help them along in any way they would surely wither away and die. I'm like my own weed killer then I guess. ....so sad.
Sad, but true that I have spent a small fortune on house plants and gardens which all end the exact same way. In a watery grave. Watery cause my neglect and negligence to them inevitably leads to my flooding them in a last desperate attempt to bring them back to life. Which of course, never works.
It's not that I don't know how to properly care for them but......well....it IS that I don't know how to properly care for them. But you can hardly blame me, coming from a long line of forest green thumbs! I mean, after about the 6th generation, isn't this kind of stuff supposed to come to me like intuition? In my blood? Second nature? Apparently not.
I finally decided on this last trip to Home Depot that I would swallow my pride and ask for some assistance in choosing my newest house plants and directions on how to care for them. Course as I'm wandering the isles of the small jungle that is the garden section of Home Depot, I swear I can actually hear the plants and seeds whispering amongst themselves..."Oh my gosh! It's HER again! Quick everyone! Go limp and turn brown! Maybe She'll just leave us alone!"
*Sigh* If only they would give me a second chance! ....or a third....or fifth....whose counting really?
I felt them slightly perk up the more I listened to the lady go on and on about proper plant care. Half of them actually turned green again as I tried hard to pay attention. In short I walked out with two palm tree type looking plants that apparently take very little care. Small sunshine and water every few weeks or so. We'll see how it goes. Even I can't botch this up too badly.
The Begonias gave a small salute to these brave souls in my cart who were (for all they could tell) attempting a suicide mission. I still felt a silent glare from the ferns when I pass by their section. Apparently they are a close nit family and did not take kindly to the passing of their latest relative who spent a small time on my kitchen cabinet. I tried to lie and whisper it was a quick and painless death, but it wasn't. It was slow and agonizing. He might have stood a chance if my 2 year old didn't find so much pleasure in plucking his little tiny leaves from his fragile stems. ....They'll never forgive me for that.
7 comments:
It's wise to remain guarded about your ability to "kill at will" - if this power were to fall into the wrong hands it could be lethal.
Plastic plants, however, prove to be more difficult to kill. (Not that it hasn't been done, it's just harder.) As with any REAL plant, you'll want to keep your carefully selected, realistic plastic plants away from open flames, flying paint (not as rare as one might think), paper shredders, and pets with chew-happy teeth.
Best of luck!
Rick
Actually, I commented several times on your “Pregnancy” post, but trashed each one before posting. Seems, as a husband, I have a problem with surrogacy – so I didn’t want to muddy the issue.
Anyway, your blog has inspired me to add a soundtrack to my blog (something I’ve been meaning to do for some time now.) So, the next time you stop by the site, brace yourself for a new audio experience.
- Rick
Try succulents. I have a variety on my balcony in various states of wither. They don't need tons of daily watering (I've gone months without watering) and are practically impossible to kill... although we don't get frost here- that might do it.
Amie,
You know that really pretty topiary in our bedroom? It's fake. I'm not so good at indoor plants either. I can grow stuff ourside pretty well but grandma is the one who does well with the indoor plants. She used to always come over and water mine. That's where I usually went wrong.
xo
Mom
I love to read what you write! You always did have a lovely imagination!
xo
mom
Fake plants all they way girl!!!
Amie ,,, It's grandma I must tell you instinct isn't going to save you--has it really been 50+ years since I tried to have indoor plants? My suggestion is pretend like they're your babies. They need to be watered (fed) approximately once a week. They do not like to stand in water. Some plants would rather not be watered more than every 10 days. See how this works and then let me know if you are ready for more information. This will have to do with light, warmth--or not--and drafty--or not. Love, G-ma
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