Husband Shopping...

So I've been sick as a dog these past couple days. Some sort of stomach thing the doc.s have been trying to figure out for some time now, but can't. Anyway, I've been too sick to do practically anything, including grocery shopping....

Simple right? You give the hubby the list, he gets whats on the list along with a few other things that just "fell" into the cart like Ding Dongs, which haunt me every time I walk by them in the snack isle, and turnips cause I said to buy some vegetables that were on sale and ...they were on sale! This was a much more dangerous trip though because I was too incoherent from pain to even make a list so he was flying solo on this one. dun dun duuuuuuu.

Yes it was a little scary to watch him go out the front door but here's the strange part...I love Matt shopping. Men shop like bachelors. As women we are organized shoppers, we think about what we want to make for dinners for the week and we buy accordingly. More often than not if you're on a budget, like I am, that means you have to pass up a lot of the things you'd like to get even if they aren't considered "junk food." Take for instance blackberries. I looooove blackberries. I love them so much it hurts sometimes when I pass by them in the produce isle and once again cannot touch them because they have a big yellow price tag in front of them that says $4 for 1/4 a pound. This tag of course creates a force field around them that hums with the quiet warning ..."hummmm 1/4 is not enough to satisfy hummmmmm you'll need at least 5 boxes .... and you can't do that if you want to buy boneless skinless chicken breasts hummmmmmm." Damn that force field!

Men however never seem to have this problem. In fact, they have a whole different strategy. I call it the 2 bite rule. If it can be eaten it in under 2 bites, it's in. So you end up with a bunch of small snacky items like the before mentioned Ding Dongs and turnips (on sale and can devour in one bite). You also get lots of things like potato chips, pizza bagels and poptarts. It's mortifying to my girlish figure! I feel like I've gained 10 pounds just watching him unpack it all! And ya know what.....I love it!

Of course I do! It's the only guilt free way to have these things end up in my cupboards! If I go, theres no way I'm going to get what I want. I get whats "best." But if I send Matt, I'm bound to get everything with a forcefeild and nothing that takes over 2 minutes to heat up in a microwave! You can't live like that all the time, but I say, let the man do the shopping once in a while and give yourself a treat. No lists. Just tell him you need FOOD. He'll get you what you really need.

When I was in collage you know what I did the first time I went grocery shopping for myself? I bought a whole watermelon. I took it home, cut it in half and sat down with a spoon so that for the next 10 minutes I could use that spoon to dig out and devour all the heart of that watermelon. Best watermelon I ever had. I eventually shared the less sweet leftovers with my roommates but for the first time, that melon was mine. ....All ....mine. Bought and paid for with my own money and by gally, I was gonna eat it however I wanted to! Rebellious I know, but those were the collage days...wild and fancy free. I should have put a bumper sticker on my bike that said "I live on the edge, I eat the heart first." Then if the whole world knew Robin Hood Prince of Theives by heart like I do, I'd add "with a spoon... cause it'll hurt more you twit!" Course then it'd be so long it'd be less like a bumper sticker and more like an all over bike decal. Details details.

Anyway, my doc wants to do an ultrasound tomorrow morning to check things out. She told me to eat simple, easy to digest foods until then as to not irritate my tum tum. Hopefully when she spreads that ice cold jelly around with her magic wand and sees those jalapeno stuffed olives, the awkward silence from a patient's total disregard for her doctor's orders won't last too long. After all....it's not ever day that the husband does the shopping.