My Girl

Today my baby girl is 1. Here are a few misconceptions I had about having a girl before she came:

Girls aren’t as squirmy.

Girls don’t get as dirty.

Girls are quieter.

Girls aren’t capable of having mood swings till they’re 12.

Girls don’t bite.

Things that I was absolutely right on about:

That I would love this little girl with all my heart. With a deep pinching kind of love that eventually consumes my whole heart with wrenching, sweet emotion.

Emily, you remind me what it’s like to be a little girl myself. Back when hugging my Heart to Heart Bear was considered a favorite pastime, talking walks down a country road to visit my best friend Joloene was the most important thing on my to-do list, and imagination trumped all. These memories remind me to have patience with all my children, whose current priorities should be something of the same. Carefree and untroubled.

As always, for me, music captures so perfectly how I feel about you and me. And every night with a whisper I sing these words in your ear as I rock you to sleep. Happy Birthday my darling.

(currently playing on playlist)

“I Never Saw Blue Like That Before” by Sawn Colvin.

Today I took a walk up the street

And picked a flower and climbed the hill

Above the lake

And secret thoughts were said aloud

We watched the faces in the clouds

Until the clouds had blown away

And were we ever somewhere else

You know, it's hard to say

And I never saw blue like that before

Across the sky

Around the world

You've given me all you have and more

And no one else has ever shown me how

To see the world the way I see it now

Oh, I, I never saw blue like that

I can't believe a month ago

I was alone, I didn't know you

I hadn't seen or heard you're name

And even now, I'm so amazed

It's like a dream, It's like a rainbow, it's like the rain

And somethings are the way they are

And words just can't explain

Cause I never saw blue like that before

Across the sky

Around the world

You've given me all you have and more

And no one else has ever shown me how

To see the world the way I see it now

Oh, I, I never saw blue like that before

And it feels like now,

And it feels always,

And it feels like coming home

I never saw blue like that before

Across the sky

Around the world

You've given me all you have and more

And no one else has ever shown me how

To see the world the way I see it now

Oh, I, I never saw blue like that before

Oh, I, I never saw blue like that