The things we do in the name of health! I had to go to the gyno today for a check-up. Talk about a pain in the ….. (no pun intended). Men complain about having to turn their head and cough. I don’t mean to belittle your discomfort men but, pleeeeease! That lasts all of 2 seconds. At least you don’t have to put your legs in stirrups and have an enormous heat lamp lighting up your whoo hoo for deep inspection!
First thing I noticed is that it must have been a while since my last check up cause I felt super uncomfortable. Course I was wearing an entire outfit made out of paper but I still don’t remember feeling this shy before. Seriously, it’s a miracle women don’t have to go through some sort of therapy after an in-depth gyno visit. Talk about being exposed and violated! I tried to be tough about the whole thing but I walked out of there feeling like I just needed a hug.
Not that she was ever rough or unprofessional about it. I do actually remember at one point noticing how soft her hands were while she performed the breast exam. Nothing sexual mind you. After you’ve breastfed a child or two it’s easy to mentally switch from boobs being something intimate to public property when in a hospital setting. I wanted to remark on it and maybe ask her what kind of hand lotion she used but decided that was creepy and not the right moment.
The whole thing reminded me of going to see my last doctor (same office building) who use to talk my ear off about cloth diapers and how his wife still breastfed their 4 year old. I always would walk straight out of those appointments wanting to eat red meat and throw trash on the ground just to reassure myself that I would never be that Hippi-ish! Nooo thank you. I’m into disposable velcro and kicking my kid to the curb after a year. When they can unbutton the shirt FOR you, there’s something wrong. …Very wrong. *shiver*
5 comments:
Yes, I think that all clinics should upgrade to some cloth gowns. Those paper things need to go. In the name of going green, of course. :) Love ya!!!! cher
hahaha in the name of green ...and draftiness!
Ahhhahaha! I totally know what-cha mean. I love my doc, but hate those appointments.
It brings a whole new meaning to the joke, "Now you're going to feel a little pressure". Pressure my ass! (NPI)
hahahahaha! ...I mean, foul language is never a laughing matter Camille! bahahaha! ...ahem, sorry mom and dad.
that is hilarious! Seriously... I would have loved to hear the outcome of that awkward conversation... wow your hands are really soft... hahahahahaha, definitely not good timing :)
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