But really, with so much to distract us from the present, it’s hard to stay attuned to the people actually around us sometimes. It’s almost a struggle these days to do that. Wait….it’s not LIKE a struggle…it IS a struggle!
Besides the fact that there are so many ways to stay in touch without ever speaking a word, it’s like just one more stick gets put on the camel’s back when they started inventing things like myspace, facebook and twitter. As if I don’t have enough trouble keeping in touch with my family, now I gotta stay up to speed with dear old Sally who was my best friend in kindergarten but moved away at the beginning of first grade!?? I really don’t care that she just got a new puppy and can’t get him house trained!
So a few years ago I stopped. I stopped doing anything that had to do with a computer and it literally felt like turning off a T.V. that was playing a bunch of loud static. All the sudden I could hear the doorbell ring! I could listen to my son talking to me….and actually HEAR what he had to say! Birds were chirping outside!!! It actually makes me think of that Carpenters song Close To You… “Why do birds suddenly appeeeear?”
I’m not saying that it’s bad to stay connected. Obviously I’m back on the computer now and I keep up two blogs, but I learned a long time ago, that was my limit as far as technology goes. I don’t do “connection sites,” I check my e-mail MAYBE once a week, I don’t have T.V., and I don’t play video games. They don’t interest me as much as real people do.
Some people can do it. Some people are amazingly talented and can be intensely connected to technology and it works for them. Like Bill Gates. Obviously he’s a millionaire from it. …And if I wanted to have a bad hair cut and wear plaid shirts under an Armani suit then I would try to be more like him.
I’ve learned whats best for me is the face to face, but I have to practically force myself to do it. I love to hear the sound of voice inflection and see facial expression. I love walking with people, crying with them, lol ing WITH them, hugging them! And when technology gets in the way of that I find myself not only becoming disconnected from the tangible reality, but not even liking the tangible reality! Because technology is easy. It’s easier to send an email than it is to call someone on the phone. It’s easier to wish your friend happy birthday on their facebook than it is to come to their house and give them a gift. And the saddest part of it all, is I would totally be the person who breaks up with someone via text if I let myself, why? Because it’s easier than having the courage to tell them to their face “it’s not me….it’s you.”
So I guess what I’m saying is, I can’t do it all and if something gotta to give….it’s gonna be Sally. Sorry Sally, but I free up so much time when I’m not reading about your puppy woes. I’ve decided that it’s ok NOT to be connected to everyone and only in touch with the people we can actually see everyday (plus family). Last week, one of my most favorite things was taking a whole hour to think, while I was getting ready for the day, about what I wanted to tell my friend in her birthday card that I was taking over to her that afternoon. I LOVED that. Knowing she’d get something in my own personal penmanship with a lot of thought behind it. It made me feel so CONNECTED to her.
You see and meet new people everyday. I am just really liking the idea that I am apart and involved with them so long as I can see them face to face at least once a month. Otherwise, my good memories and love for them remain, but I let them move on to the next people bound to touch their lives. And I release myself from any guilt for not knowing every detail of their current life.
It’s my way of internally simplifying. What are some of your ways?
3 comments:
I simplified by letting go of my "shoulds"--kind of like Yoda's "do or do not--there is no try." Sure there are a lot of things I SHOULD do. But there are lots of things I do DO, every day. So I was letting the weight of the shoulds outweigh all the good things I was getting done and it was depressing. So my Daily Shoulds got limited to: exercise, read scripture, and tell each family member, eye to eye, that I love them. Free time goes into exercising creativity, service, and things I LIKE to do, rather than punishing myself with chores and unpleasantries. I have found that there is time for everything and I will be "in the mood" to get everythign doen at some point, so I don't have to force myself or miss out on somethign I want to do because I "should" do somethign else. The dishes may sit in the sink for a day or two, but I am LIVING my freaking life!
oh jaim I love that! I love the whole idea of doing things when in the mood. Just acting on your desires and instincts of the day. I have totally started to recognize that in my life as well. I have come to see that there are days that I actually WANT to clean so I don't have to force myself to do it when I don't want to because I know that sometime within the next week, I'll WANT to do it anyway! It's so much more pleasurable to participate in things that spark your interest of the moment! I always seem to enjoy those activities 10 times more when I act on them. Thanks for those thoughts.
Totally love the post! I absolutely agree, but I can't say that I only check my email once a week.... that is the only communication Brian and I have while he is gone so I would rather not say how many times I check it daily... even though I usually only get one email from him a day (I torture myself by checking over and over to find that I have not yet received anything...) BUT there are too many people who live on FB, Twitter, myspace... the list goes on. GET OUT OF the house already!!! And go see that person outside, in person! I think people need more people these days and less "cyber people". I love all your thoughts though and couldn't agree more :) Except for the whole lol-ing. I hate it when people write LOL, it just drives me crazy for some reason and the fact that you wrote LOL-ing only made me laugh...
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