We spend so much time on these blogs making ourselves look good. “look at all the great things MY family does!” “Look at how great I look in this picture!” “Look at all my accomplishments!” Granted, we like to share the happy things in our lives. Someone once said that we only take pictures of the happy moments and that’s therefore what we document, but it all just gives me a head ache sometimes. So, in honor of my mood today, this blog is dedicated to my worst recent failure...
Last year I played softball for a team associated with my work. It was really fun but by the end of the season I remember saying to myself that I didn’t want to do it again next year for a few reasons. First, because it was a LONG season. The entire summer to be exact, and with a game every week it got a little old. Second, because I’d have a mini heart attack before each game just anticipating the pressures that come from others watching you and depending on you. ….oh, and also because I can’t play softball to save my life!
Sure I played in high school a couple years but I remember not liking it very much and half way into the third year I just had “too much on my plate” and quit. (Pssh! Whatever that means for a 16 year old. I probably just wasn’t getting enough mack time with my boyfriend. Ya know with all that school crap getting in the way). I remember slamming a homerun right out to center field one game and thinking…. “This is never gonna happen again. I’m totally quitting after this. Go out on an up note!” I’m such an optimist it kills me.
Anyway, back to the story. So after deciding definitely NOT to play again this year… I sign up to play again this year. Haha. Wow Amie, way to stick to your guns! I totally got suckered into playing though with a team from my church. …..they said “hey amie, come play,” and I said “um, ok.” …Aaaand this is why I have tons of Mary Kay makeup in my bathroom that I never use! I’m just a sucker for a sob story! Can you imagine what would have happened if they’d have said “amie, we really need you”? I probably would have sponsored the freaken team, with money I don’t have!
Anyway, as it turns out I’m thinking maybe I should have grown that backbone and said no because we SUCK. We lose EVERY GAME! And I’m sure you’re saying to yourselves “aww amie it can’t be THAT bad. These other teams must just know their stuff really well and practice. “ ….NOPE! They’re overweight office geeks, that are most of the time drunk off their asses, just happy to be out there doin something other than push that pencil. Ya….we suck. Wanna know the best part about it? …I play right field. Guess where they put the crappiest player on the team? Right field. Awesome. I’m like the lowest on the totem pole. No! LOWER! I’m like the stake in the ground that grounds the totem pole! It’s just so sad that all I can do is laugh about it. It really is ridiculous.
Whenever I start to get down about it I just keep thinking about what my good friend Joe Dirt says. “You can’t have ‘no’ in your heart.” … That and... there HAS to be a bottom somewhere right? There has to be someone out there that makes everyone else feel better about themselves. Someone they can compare to and say “ya, I missed a few out there, but at least I wasn’t picking dandy lions out with amie in right field!"
Everyone serves their purposes, and in softball…this must be mine, and I’ve accepted that much. But should there ever come a day that I don’t strike out and by some miracle hit one out of the park....well I’m gonna run myself right over home plate and then run myself right on outta there because that’s as good as it gets people!
I’d like you to take a moment just to share something that you aren’t so good at. I’m not saying we shouldn’t focus on the positive, I’m just sayin keep it real. Anything else is making me nauseous right now. My other blog included. In fact that’s probably why I haven’t posted much on that blog lately. I’m sure tomorrow I’ll feel differently. But I’m a woman! What more excuse do you need to be fickle? Besides, I think that sharing our realities can be very therapeutic. So…I SUCK at softball, most of the time my house is a mess, and my 3 year old son recently took a dump in our back yard in broad daylight! Ha! BEAT THAT!
13 comments:
Wow, where to begin? First off, I played on a company softball team that went TWO years without a win. TWO YEARS. The play was so hideous, the other teams started feeling bad for us. But that’s a long story and I think I’ll relay that in an upcoming blog (thanks Amie, I thought I’d never revisit THAT glorious period in my life). Now, something I suck at… I suck at remembering names, which can be frustrating at parties. In fact, “remembering” is not even the right term here, because that would imply that I had a memory to call upon. You see, when I meet someone, names are exchanged, but they might as well be throwing their name at a Teflon wall. I’ve tried word association, but that usually results in me calling people things like: lamp shade, Botswana, turkey lips, or davenport. So, I’ve resorted to just saying “hey,” or waiting ‘til I catch their eye, or just start talking louder and louder until they have no choice but to acknowledge me. Yeah, I’ve got a problem, but someday the Health Department will declare it a disease and I can start collecting disability and I'll get to use those handicap parking spaces...someday.
I suck at everything housekeeping-related, especially cleaning and laundry. Despite my best efforts I also suck at gardening. I suck at time management. You know those people that can get one million things done in a day? Well, that ain't me! I also suck at keeping my mouth shut, especially when I'm out with the girls. I get talking and forget to stop until I've revealed some embarrassing secret. I could go on and on.
hahaha! amen to the gardening failures nichole! I keep thinking I'll get better every year...nope! Cheers my friend!
I have to say that, although I try and be as positive as I can on my blog I am pretty much a Debbie Downer and I am always complaining! My faults are easy to find! I am on the church softball team for the second year in a row and I may just suck worse then you! YEP, I am certain of that! You are too funny! Be as fickle as you want. That's the beauty of the blog. I love you Amie!
I am the opposite. I don't worry about bragging too much or being too perky. I worry about being too negative or always going on about how we are sick AGAIN. Or having another surgery. I hate being negative. I hate being the one who needs to have meals brought every month by RS. Seeing as I am in the RS. With the worry of being too negative.....I think I try and over compensate with extra cheerfullness. ;)
But just for kicks here's some rain on your parade.
1.Ben was at Primary Children's hospital yesterday with a kidney procedure. When they got in there they realized that tests had not detected that his kidneys are not working right. So the 24th he goes in for another kidney surgery that will require an over night stay.
2.Dan is awaiting his surgery call for an ankle injury in Iraq.
3. Dan is awaiting a call from Army headquarters. They have lost our paperwork like 3 times. And we might be getting PCS'd. And Dan is being forced to change his MOS. Of course they are moving us right as we start to house hunt. BOO!
5.Our house looks like the washer and dryer, dishwasher, and vaccum blew up. I hate a messy house. Or more like I love a clean house. And I am loathing the dirty little nest we currently reside in. I think I need to learn to embrace the filth.
PS As for softball.....I swore it off back in 1993, when I was knocked unconcios by a fast pitch. The rest of the season, I left my glasses at home on purpose so I wouldn't have to play. And my Mom was the manager! EEK!
Haha... That is funny- I would be out there picking dandelions in right field with you.. I consider myself a pretty athletic person and always have been, but in 6th grade, I decided to try playing softball for the first time and I played right field. I didn't even realize at the time that that was where they put the worst player... but there I was... haha... I still suck at softball.. I refuse to even play... I can't sew worth beans, don't tell my mother- She likes to think that she taught me well... but I can't follow a dang pattern to save my life. I can't seem to grow a garden or keep flowers alive... I really WANT to... so I try every year, but my "crops" are always so measly and I end up buying everything at the store that I tried to grow in my garden.. pooey. I can't keep my house clean and I really have no excuse.. I don't have any kids who mess it up.. its just me who messes it up and doesn't clean it.. Oh well.. I'm not creative, so however hard I try to create cute scrapbook pages.. I end up with boring simple ones that are all the same... Should I continue?? You should be feeling really good about yourself by now!! =)
hahahahaha! oh man don't even get me started on scrapbooking adelle! there are just some things in life we are never meant to do.
and i'm really bad at spelling names....adele ;) sorry
Honey,
I suck at many things... are you ready?
i really really suck at cooking. I know you think that when you are off at work and our boys are home with me that they are getting a three course meal with all the right stuff.... no so much. it is so hard for me to look in a cupboard and see a meal that is just waiting to be put together. You see a whole freaking cafeteria and i see a can of beans and some dry yeast. It just doesn't happen for me and i am sorry our children get cold cereal a vast amount of the time.... not really, i heat up a hot dog or two in the microwave every now and then. I love ya, but man i miss your dinners.... every night!!
awww! that makes me feel so sad! our poor children! But I know you are exaggerating because I know for a fact that you make some fingerlicken fried chicken!
It'll will all be over soon. Just hurry up and get that police job!
Amie,
I can beat your poop story....Lisa and Laura did it in the FRONT yard of my mom and dads house when they were 3. Not feeling bad enough about them being little heathans, my dad told me if pepole saw that and called CPS, they would take my kids away.........and I don't suck at softball, I can still get a hit, although I have to hit a home run to get to first......can;t wait to see you!!!
Thanks Mom!
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