Lullaby

I know I talk a lot about my kids on this blog but.....they're my life!

I was inspired by Nei's blog, as usual, and decided to post my favorite lullaby (currently playing).

To my husband and children: "You should always know, where ever you may go, no matter where you are....I never will be far away.

Inside this ancient heart, you'll always be apart of me."

A Good Woman

I've been thinking a lot lately about what it means to be a good woman.

The whole process of evaluating myself in this reminds me somehow of Spring cleaning at my house. You see, I've moved so often in the past that I never really got the hang of Spring cleaning cause I was constantly going through my stuff in preparation to move. But now that I've been in the same house for a few consecutive years I'm finding this is more than a little foreign.

What I mean to say with this analogy is that I've gone through so many ups and downs in my life (emotionally, physically, spiritually) that it's taken a while to feel like life has really smoothed out into something somewhat consistent. I'm much better now in many ways than I was years ago but now I'm finding this increasing internal urging to be a little better...to lift the bar so to speak for myself.

This is where I start to think about what it truly means to be a good woman. I kid you not, no sooner had I formed the question in my mind when Sister Beck got up to speak at conference last week. I loved what she had to say and feel so much encouragement from her words. (You have to scroll to the right once to see her name and hear her talk.)

I want so much to be able to keep my life going at a smooth and steady pace yet allow myself to feel the need to improve the kind of time I spend with my boys, the kind of wife I am to my husband, and most definitely improve the way I keep house. :) These areas are just a few of many.

Maybe I feel this way because I'm almost 99% sure this baby is a girl. It makes me SO aware of the kind of woman I am, the choices I make and the way I react to every situation. As a major influence in her life I want to be someone she can look up to. Someone she can trust. Someone who is consistent in word and deed. Someone who is just plain consistent.

I know my boys see me everyday but somehow in my mind I think they follow their dad more because one day they will be men just like him. I know thats not true and they look at me just as much if not more because I am with them more. But the thought of having a girl that may grow up to be....just like me....puts me in hyper-improvement mode.

It's all so very interesting and thought provoking.

A World Of Mommies

(Happy Mama)

Today Matt and I just sat back in awe of this tremendous out pouring of love and help we've received since I've been sick.

It all started last week when my visiting teachers (the "angels" I spoke of earlier) came over with a huge container of chicken soup, homemade rolls and Matt's favorite poppyseed cake. This wonderful woman who makes this "said" cake also brought us dinner when Sammy was born which is when we fell in love with it. My very good friend Jeanine brought me over a big ol' bag of mint herbal tea a few days later, just the way I like it. Fresh and out of the tea bags so I can brew it myself.

People call my phone all the time, but I'm just not up to talking a whole lot so most the time I don't answer (sorry). That was not enough for Rozla who, when I didn't answer came over to my house to see what she could do to help. And later that night my very good friends Marie and Brittany cooked us a gigantic pot of yumminess with chicken and potatoes along with some rolls. Matt's already eaten about half and even I've been able to keep down a potato or two.

All these and endless offers for people to take Sam for a few hours so I can rest!

It's just all these mommies that love to be mommies, you can tell. The way they care for not only their own families but families around them. They love to care and to nurture and feed and comfort. I have felt so blessed these past few weeks being flat on my back and nauseous as all get out, sick to the bone and totally grateful for these wonderful women who've taken care of us and made my life so much easier. I simply cannot explain what it feels like to go to bed at night and feel so... supported, in a way that feels like these other people are holding you up and keeping you together. I am so, so thankful.

.....

Also, special shout out to my husband who wouldn't like it very much if I classified him as a "mommy." But he still does so much for me. In fact, I'm finding he does a lot of my jobs better than I do, like vacuuming for instance. He still brings me everything I need, rubs my feet, brushes my hair, even mops the the kitchen floor and sanitizes the bathroom while I sit downstairs gagging from the chemical smells, but grateful. Amongst all this he also makes sure our boys are getting all the love and attention they need. I tell you all the day long but, thank you my darling, thank you.

An Angel

Today someone left a huge container of soup on my front porch. How amazing is that? It was perfect too because just looking at most foods makes me nauseous, let alone preparing something for my family. In fact, whoever it was probably thought I was a little off my rocker cause I had a crockpot going on my front porch. See, I thought, slow cooking is the easiest. Just throw it in the pot and forget about it. But I couldn't stand smelling it all day long, so I put it out on the porch to cook. haha.

Anyway, there wasn't a note but, whoever you are, thank you so very much. I was just last night feeling so far away from my family and wished I lived closer to them during times like these. Your small gift not only will fill our bellies, but made me feel a little home, away from home.

Dear General Authorities

As a child, the best things I can remember about conference weekend were great, gigantic breakfasts that seemed to last all day with lots of family over and not having to go to church. I also remember it being long and finding it hard to stay awake. :) And now, why does it feel like the more fervently I listen to General Conference, the more I feel twice a year is not enough?

I look forward to hearing your stories and counsel on the first week of April. I wish it were sooner. Until then, this is one of my favorite stories, similar to some we hear at Conference time.

Love,

Amie

Morning Sickness Blaa

The past couple days I've been REALLY sick. Super super nauseous all the time. I don't remember being this way with the boys, which means that either a.) I have a horrible memory or b.) I might be pregnant with a girl this time. Both are totally plausible.

Yesterday was the worst yet. The only things I could stand to eat for most the day was 1 hard boiled egg and a few bites of oatmeal. I hate oatmeal by the way, but the last time I threw up it was so acidic that it burned my throat raw and seared my lips so they are cracked and bleeding today. I definitely was afraid to eat anything with any kind of citric acid so, oatmeal it was.

I called up my OB office finally at about 4 to beg the nurse to put me out of my misery. She told me (in her over upbeat voice) that I should try some soda and crackers. HA! Thanks Copernicus! The 1940's called, they want their top of the line advice back. She did tell me that I wasn't drinking enough though and that if I threw up that much acid again that I should go to the ER and get an IV. So, needless to say (even though it's not appealing at all) I've been suckn down the liquids like crazy today and I do feel a bit better. This morning for breakfast I had handful of Chex cereal and a grape popsicle.

My wonderful heaven sent has been my husband who yesterday let me lay in bed and on the couch and brought me everything I wanted. He fed the kids dinner and gave them a bath and even went to Home Depot to fix the stair ledge. This morning, he blew dry my hair in bed so that I wouldn't get cold. He is, in a word.... my Superman.

Stupid Keys, Stupid Dog, Stupid Wings

At first I wasn’t sure, but now I KNOW I have definitely been having cravings! Cravings for really really spicy foods and then really sour foods. In fact, I couldn’t find anything around the house spicy enough to satisfy my taste buds. Not even the tapatillo on EVERYTHING was doing it’s usual trick. So I jammed on over to the new Buffalo Wild Wings for lunch with Sam and got the second hottest wings they serve, called ”wild,” to go. Sam had parmesan garlic wings.

We ate them on the way over to Jake’s school to enjoy the first grade “Celebrate America” program. I don’t have any kids in the first grade but I love to go because a large amount of kids under the age of 7 in the spotlight is just begging for some good entertainment. Public nose picking, outrageous outfits, funky hair. I love it.

Anyway, about halfway through the program my tummy starts to rumble and I feel sick. I’m pretty sure I’m not gonna upchuck quite yet but as I make my move to find an exit (just to be safe), my keys fall off my lap and down under the bleachers. We were sitting at the very top. Greeeeat. So I concentrate on breathing in through my nose and out through my mouth til the show is over. Sammy crawls under and snags the keys for me. Monkey children can be so useful.

We are on our way back out to the car when all the sudden Jake tells me he has to “go.” He has to go REALLY bad. Now, I don’t know if most of you know this but my first born takes an unusually long time to poo. It’s so bad that we try and plan our outings AROUND his poop schedule just so we don’t wind up standing in a public bathroom for half an hour. But I’m still feeling nauseous so I take a chance that he can hold it and zoom home.

But that puts me back in the car where the left over wings are and the desire to puke gets even stronger with the smell lingering. The second we get home I tell Jake just to run inside. In his haste though, he leaves the gate open and what happens? Da da da daaa da daaaaaa! Out runs Rincon!

Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m glad that Rincon comes to me when I call, but at times like this it would be nice if he were more obedient to ANYONE else! In fact, it would be nice if he had enough brain cells to learn to just stay inside the fence, like Molly does. But, can’t teach an old dog new tricks and he’s already too far away to hear me so, back in the car I go!

I had just gotten enough fresh air in my lungs that the smell of wings hit me full force again and I almost lost it. Dry heaving all the way until I find Rincon and hop him inside the car.

I made it home just in time to spend the rest of the evening clinging to porcelain. Just in case you’re wondering, “wild” wings burn just as much coming back up as they do going down. Needless to say, my cravings for the spicy are COMPLETELY gone.

ps- Rincon just came to snuggle my cold feet while I type so I guess I have to forgive him.