Today

I woke up to an alarm

I prayed

I sliced fresh strawberries atop of snap crackle and pop

I took first day of school pictures

I cried

I took the little man to school

I rode on a yellow school bus (tour)

I sat in a chair too small for me

I saw my son sit in a chair just his size

I cried

I swung on a metal swing set

I climbed a jungle gym

I did a summersault on a metal bar

I watched my boys play

I cried again

...three times. Not too bad. First real day of school is tomorrow though...

Letter To My Boys

To Jake and Sam,

I knew I always wanted to have children but you made me want to be a mom. To do mom things like decorate your room cowboy style and make you chaps to match. Like finding 10 extra minutes to explore the gloriousness of your little toes. Like taking the time in the early hours of the morning to appreciate how perfectly your bodies form against mine as we snuggle down in the blankets, as if my body was made to cuddle yours.

I love that you ask me to sing to you every night before you go to bed. I especially love that I have an entire song made up completely dedicated to The Power Rangers.

I love that you play “pretend.” That the world is a pirate ship to you or a tropical jungle back when dinosaurs roamed the earth. I wonder what it’s like sometimes to see the world through T-Rex’s eyes as you do. We all must look like tiny ants from way up there!

I love that you love each other. That when your father and I get upset with you over misbehavior that you give each other hugs of consolation. Sibling relationships will be the most important of your life.

I love that you love to be outside. That you enjoy nature even more than I do. That you expand your knowledge of the world by examining crickets up close in your tiny hands.

I am so looking forward to being your fulltime mom again so that I can spend every moment with you. If working fulltime has taught me anything, it’s that I want to be a mom. The old fashioned kind that gets up before everyone else does and wears an apron all day. Who makes cleaning fun like my sweet mother used to do by intertwining silly things into our “to do” list like go jump on the trampoline 10 times or go out and pet the horse.

I love and enjoy your company and the vibrancy of your imaginations. I am determined to be the best version of myself so that I can be the best mom for you.

All my love to you,

Mom

COPS

Why is it that when things go wrong...they go REALLY wrong and when things go right they go REALLY right? Why can't life just play me a happy medium?

Anyway, I am not going to complain about our most recent REALLY good and that was Matt getting on with the Helena PD. So bring on all the pig and doughnut jabs!

You've worked so hard for this Matt and I am so thankful for all you have done to get here. No one has been better prepared for this job than you. You could be anything you want but I can just see you excelling in this occupation so easily. You are smart and even tempered, you work well with people yet are fierce when you need to be. You have always had a sense of duty to your God, your family, your country, and your community. I'm just so thankful to be married to a man that our boys can look up to.

Ahg, I feel like we can finally take a deep breath and relax for a moment. In your honor I put my favorite song by The Police on here.

CONGRATULATIONS!!! I love you.